There's beef in my biryani,
Send it back, send it back!
There's pork in my lasagna,
Your waiter should get the sack!
There's coriander in my curry,
How dare you, I tell you!
There's yogurt in my gravy,
I'm a vegan, I told you!
There's onion in my bhaji
I'm a Jain, doncha know?
There's chicken in my pattice,
I'm a veggie, I will throw
I can take the garlic stew
Only on Saturdays, you fool!
There's rum in my Coke
That's not fair, that's not cool
There are nuts in my salad
Are you certifiably mad?
I'll sue you in all courts
Or I'll go and tell your dad.
Why the paratha in my thali,
You know I don't do gluten!
I'll go and tell your mother
That your food is all rotten!