There's beef in my biryani,
    Send it back, send it back!
    There's pork in my lasagna,
    Your waiter should get the sack!
    There's coriander in my curry,
    How dare you, I tell you!
    There's yogurt in my gravy,
    I'm a vegan, I told you!
    There's onion in my bhaji
    I'm a Jain, doncha know?
    There's chicken in my pattice,
    I'm a veggie, I will throw
    I can take the garlic stew
    Only on Saturdays, you fool!
    There's rum in my Coke
    That's not fair, that's not cool
    There are nuts in my salad
    Are you certifiably mad?
    I'll sue you in all courts
    Or I'll go and tell your dad.
    Why the paratha in my thali,
    You know I don't do gluten!
    I'll go and tell your mother
    That your food is all rotten!