If he had consulted Brij Bhushan Singh, he would be roaming around freely.

If a prosecution was launched there would organised protests by leading lights, like the Kathua rape-murder case.

If he was accused no cases would have been seriously prosecuted, the guys accused of rape and murder of the Dalit girl in Hathras in 2020 would have advised him.

If he was indeed convicted of rape and murder, he could come out on bail every other day. Gurmeet Ram Rahim would have informed him.

If he didn’t like to come out on bail again and again he could have come out for being ‘sanskari’, ask the Bilqis Banu rapists.

If he wanted a grand welcome on coming out after 121 stampede deaths he had great prospects of being garlanded by Ministers, ask the Ramgarh (Jharkhand) mob lynching guys or even ask Jayant Sinha. Besides, not being Yeshwant Sinha’s sons any other Ministers garlanding him would not even have been dropped from election contests!

But, being on the run within the country must be considered below the dignity of some of these gurus and babas. The guy to emulate is Nithyananda Paramashivam and set up something like the micro nation of ‘Kailaasaa’.

If none of these things worked and Bhole Baba still felt insecure the powers-that-be could have done the opposite of what they did with the BK-16, they could hack the Baba’s computer and secretly install files that proclaimed his innocence.

In Nehru’s time there may only have been tax exemptions. We now live in much better times with ‘Amrit Kaal’ and ‘Achche Din’ and can avail of crime exemptions, prosecution exemptions, conviction exemptions if you’re on the ‘goli maaro saalon ko side’. Then there are the ‘perennial bail scheme’, ‘garland-the-accused scheme’, ‘overturn-conviction scheme’, ‘you-get-convicted-someone-else-serves-jail-time-scheme’, ‘join-the-ruling-party scheme’, ‘washing machine programmes etc. All in all, there’s a scheme for every class of crime! Why should liberalisation be limited only to the economic sphere? Unleashing the animal spirit in every sphere of life can result in all-round social development towards becoming Vishwagurus. And finally, of course, we have the option of rewriting history. The idea, earlier, was to rewrite past history. We can now graduate to rewriting current history.

Amen

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are the author’s personal views, and do not necessarily represent the views of Sabrangindia.

The post The Naive Bhole Baba appeared first on SabrangIndia.

Politicians, especially, elected representations are unique species. They descend from God’s chosen ones, hence power is their entitlement and they are a superior and selfless breed. Superior because they make a new begining every day. Mortal humans carry yesterday’s baggage, responsibility and shame. Politicians, on the other hand can say and do the vilest things to each other one day and kiss and make up another day without batting an eyelid. They’re selfless because everything they do is all in the public interest. They sacrifice their sound sleep, life, character and integrity for us.

We, the people, idiots that we are -ask them questions, force them to slime their way out of facts, push them to lie- are supremely thankless creatures. The root of the problem is that we harbour the illusion of this being a democracy. And democracy is messy. Having to follow the rules, ask for opinions, take consent, defer to public sentiment are unnecessary burdens on ‘governance’. The divine creatures that politicians are they try to disabuse the janata of democratic illusions but we refuse to lower our expectations.

Wide ranging reform is the only way out. Do we actually need a Government? In any case God seems to run the system. Once the temple is up in Ayodhya the system will run even better. The days God is on leave Nature determines what happens in our polity, On the rare occasions that both are asleep the system runs on auto-pilot, inertia or whatever. So, ordinary citizens can do without Government.

The first change that should seriously be considered is to officially run the Govt only at night. Daytime there are so many laws, rules, questions, oversight, debate, ruckus,etc. Opaqueness takes so much effort that governance becomes impossible. Take a leaf out of the swearing-in book and run Government only at night. Come to think of it we can eventually do away with Parliament, Assemblies, elections. Would save so much money, propaganda, lies, manifestoes and everything.

The second reform ought to be to privatise police and paramilitary forces along with BSNL, BPCL, Indian Railways, airports. Privatise policing and security of MPs and MLAs and turn it over to the Dawood Ibrahims, Iqbal Mirchis, Arun Gawlis and Chhota Rajans. State Police do such a shoddy job of policing. The other day senior policemen were caught spying on NCP MLAs at that Mumbai hotel. Such a shame that Chanakya’s policemen were caught.

Until privatisation of police takes place (you know tendering etc. take time) it is apt and fitting that the gau rakshak parivar treats MPs and MLAs as cattle and gives them protection. Cows are indeed the most protected species (the four-legged ones and the two-legged MLAs) in the current dispensation.

The Government’s reform agenda and its trajectory inspire great hope. It is on the right track and doing all that is necessary for real change. e.g., earlier corrupt corporates had to stash their funds in $ in Swiss Banks and Cayman Island entities. It gave them such a bad name despite their sweat and toil for the country. How much more thankless can we as a people be? Now they can simply park their funds with the ruling party. Such a swadeshi solution from the swayamsevak sangh and swadeshi jagran parivar.

It was Nehru’s ill-conceived plebeianism that forced the Adanis and Ambanis to use the same currency printed by RBI as every other citizen, the janata! We simply don’t appreciate that they are a class apart. It is so grossly unjust to them. The only option they had was to have tons of the same money we have. This Govt has very rightly corrected that injustice. The janata can have RBI-printed notes, the chosen ones can have SBI-printed electoral bonds. A totally new and parallel currency befitting their stature, reputation and class-apartness. Nobody will ever ask or know where it came from nor where it went. In any case they put it to excellent use by gifting airplanes on each other’s birthdays or building themselves 25-storey buildings for their 5-6 member families.

While this reform spree is on what’s most puzzling is that there are no ED, IT, or CBI raids on the hotels and resorts hosting the ultimate “democracy fugitives”, i.e., the Shiv Sena, NCP and Congress MLAs. Do they suddenly want to play by the rules, have they developed a sudden interest in fairplay? Or, are the hotel and resort ownerrs bigger crooks and hooligans?

Whatever anybody says the BJP must be considered the most honest and transparent party. It seems to list the Election Commission as one of its Departments. See the circled icon in the picture below.
 

(https://www.bjp.org/en/departments)

BJP must also be considered a modest party because it does not show the Enforcement Directorate (E D), CBI or Income Tax as its departments. Besides, the party website only lists its top office bearers such as President, General Secretaries, sangathak etc. Therefore it doesn’t list all its office staff such as Governors, clerks, peons et al.
 
But, the Government must exist and Maharashtra must get one soon. It must exist for the big corporates and criminals -political as well as others- because Governments are their only benefactors, protectors, legitimisers. If the Government didn’t exist who would give them land, mines, spectrum, loans, write-offs?

The post Tha Maharashtra circus and our reform agenda appeared first on SabrangIndia.

 
If the BJP-Shiv Sena alliance cannot work together what else in the world will? People will lose faith in the institution of marriage! They were made-for-each-other, they were soulmates, their match was made in heaven, they would be expected to live together another seven-lives, seven incarnations. Alas Man disposes what God proposes. Such is the power of the Shah-Modi duo.
 
The Shiv Sena and BJP have been together through good times and bad, through the thick and the thin, toiling untiringly for the cause of Hindu Rashtra, Hindutva, They’ve been together in riot, violence and arson, demolishing mosques, teaching muslims a lesson! To hell with Constitution, secularism, Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam. It would be nearly impossible to say whether divorce from each other after such infatuation would be more painful or divorce from power, should it come to that pass.
 
Shiv Sena may have to settle for an arranged marriage with the NCP and Congress. It is difficult to say what their view on traditional Indian values, our rich culture and heritage, monogamy etc. is but in Maharashtra’s interest they may even settle for polygamy.
 
The only small difference between two individuals marrying and two political parties marrying is that one discusses alimony, partition of property only if the marriage breaks down. Where parties marry one thrashes out property share, alimony, palimony etc. in the run up to the wedding, for the wedding.
 
Power is absolutely essential for the survival and growth of any political party. In any case the Shah-Modi dispensation had reduced the Shiv Sena to the same condition as India’s former princely states (after the British left India), beneficiaries of privy purse, political pensioners! Indeed, a free hand in Mumbai Municipal Corporation is like privy purse or permanent pension scheme.
 
Shiv Sena hasn’t run out of options. In fact, some Shiv Sainiks must really feel spoiled for choice. Like the past 5 years they can be both in Government and behave like opposition, constantly sniping, snubbing and then put the tiger’s tail between its legs come election time; or the party can be in Government and the party mouthpiece Saamna can be the opposition. That way nobody will know who is on which side. Indeed, one of the ways to make marriage work is to live under the same roof and spite each other. That’s a trick marriage counsellors and authors of books on how-to-make-relationship-work may never have thought of.
 
The BJP hasn’t run out of options either. Coaxing, cajoling, putting Income Tax authorities, Enforcement Directorate after anybody who doesn’t fall in line are perfectly legitimate tools. If these don’t work there are, of course, non-State players such as Bajrang Dal, Hindu Sena, Hindu Vahini et al who would do anything befitting their rich tradition and culture. There might just be a small problem there, because the Shiv Sena too might have its own outfits and armies that can bring a rowdy street under control!
 
Perhaps BJP can requisition Mr Gopal Kanda’s services for Maharashtra since he wasn’t used in Haryana. Then there’s also the option of giving Maharashtra Delhi-like status, i.e., give them a Government with no more powers than a Municipal Corporation and have the police and all the agencies-with-sting under its thumb; or use something like 370 (in case Shiv Sena cosies up to Sharad Pawar’s hospitality. The only difference for the Delhi duo would be using their remote control on Governor or Lieutenant Governor instead of Chief Minister. In no case need power be surrendered.
 
Because it has been a very dignified quarrel thus far none of the political parties have had to use hotels, holiday resorts, burly boxers, aircraft, AC buses transporting MLAs to safe havens. But that’s a great loss to India’s stuttering economy and GDP. Poor resort owners are losing their only chance to make a little buck in this festive season.
 
A pretty uneventful dance of democracy, this.

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