Dear Honourable Supreme Leader,
I trust this missive finds you in the pink of health and high spirits, as one must be when presiding over a nation in such a state of unparalleled prosperity and contentment as is reflected in current wobbly growth, unemployment, currency depreciation and runaway inflation.
It is with the utmost reluctance that I dare to disturb your reverie with a few modest suggestions that might, perchance, enhance the already dazzling brilliance of your socio-economic policies.
Firstly, given that we are on the cusp of the annual Budget, might I propose the radical notion of abolishing personal income tax for the poor and middle class? I am certain that the mere thought of such a measure will have you clutching your pearls in horror, but consider, if you will, the delightful irony of allowing the common folk to retain a modicum of their hard-earned pittance. I know, I know, it sounds crazy. But think of it as a radical social experiment! Let the little people keep a bit of their own money. Who knows, they might spend it on frivolities like food, clothes, and data. Wild idea, right? This, in turn, could spur demand and private investment, thereby possibly creating a veritable utopia of economic activity.
Secondly, one cannot help but marvel at the astronomical prices of fuel, which have undoubtedly contributed to the nation’s coffers in ways too numerous to mention. However, in a moment of uncharacteristic whim, might I suggest a dramatic reduction in fuel prices? Imagine the joy! Suddenly, people will have more cash to burn. It could be like an economic miracle! But hey, what do I know? I’m just a guy with a calculator and a dream.
“What about the farmers?” Ah, yes! The farmers! The backbone of our great nation, and yet, they’re being treated like, well, like a bunch of old socks. Do provide them with minimum support prices, would you? It’s the least one can do to help them stay afloat.
Of course, I would be remiss if I did not caution against certain drastic measures that might, in your boundless wisdom, seem tantalizing, given the past history. For instance, the dollarization of the economy by rendering the rupee redundant might appear to be a masterstroke, but one must consider the potential pitfalls of such a move.
Similarly, slashing public education and health budgets – it’s tempting to keep the populace uneducated and unhealthy to keep them in control. But please refrain.
And selling off public assets to esteemed crony business friends for a song might not be the panacea the nation desires.
Taxing the 200 million stock market investors for their capital losses may be the FM’s way of boosting morale!
Will taxing the wealth of the rich folks fleeing to Dubai, Canada, or Singapore definitely make them stay?
Both are ill-advised moves.
And let us not forget the potential backlash from lashing out at millions of youths complaining about exam paper leaks and delays in government jobs, or imposing a ‘stay at home’ cess on those who work from home or are homemakers. Moves that may rock an already faltering nation.
Criminalising the dissent of farmers protesting for fair prices or causing unchecked ecological havoc through indiscriminate building of roads, bridges, and townships would be appealing but will only deepen the chasm of discontent.
In conclusion, I remain, as ever, your most obedient servant, humbly offering these suggestions in the spirit of constructive criticism and unwavering loyalty. I have no doubt that your unparalleled acumen will guide the nation to even greater heights of prosperity and glory.
Yours most sincerely,
A Humble Voluntary Worker, unemployed by choice
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