Invitations were sent to all but soon after it went wide spread on the social media, the champion of Hindu dharma jumped into the fray and started threatening the father. There were hundreds of calls asking the father hundreds of questions about the marriage. What was strange was that father was ready to provide all the answers to every tom dick and harry who felt ‘hurt’ with the marriage. Question is why in India we become so insensitive to the individuals issues.

The father hails from the Sangh Parivar back ground. There are number of politicians in Jan Sangh BJP and RSS whose daughters or sons are married to Muslims.

We don’t need to bother about these things as they are individual affairs but then BJP raises lots of issues about inter faith marriages terming them as Love Jehad. Of course, the same Sanghis and the brahmanical shouting brigade has never ever promoted the inter caste marriages among Hindus. They would never encourage and appreciate marriages between savarnas and OBC or savarnas and Dalits. Love Jehad angle is basically meant to force people to marry with in their castes. India is ultimately a country of castes where each one of us are too proud of it that we forget that we are human being too and that there are good and bad people everywhere.

Yashpal Benami tried to put a brave face for some time but later when the entire issue became dangerously out of control then he had to postponed the ceremony. I hope the marriage is not cancelled, merely the programme. Question is what do you make out of the entire issue.

I was speaking to a friend from Pauri who said that it might be a conspiracy too to create deliberately the Hindu Muslim issue which the BJP always want otherwise what is there in Pauri to raise this issue.

Yashpal Benami would have silently done it but perhaps he too was doing it for the political gains, may be a consolidation of Muslim votes for him but that boomeranged as the poisonous anti Muslim propaganda is already there in the air for last few years and when the state apparatus not only use these extra state actors to promote the hate agenda then we must realise that things have move beyond our control.

What can be done? The only thing that would have been possible under all national and international laws is that the choice of two individuals is ultimately theirs. The courts remain silent on these issues and their silence has encouraged the extra state actors to take law unto their hands. For the political people, their own ideological issues will haunt them. The Hindutva leaders know it well that they cant do anything if two individuals are getting married out of their choice but what seems to bother them is the ‘legitimacy’ by the masses.

If the family has accepted them and the relatives too are coming for it, then there is a chance others too will follow the suit and that make them worried. The main worry is: why should the children decide things about themselves. Isn’t it a joke that we consider an 18-20 years old boy and girl capable enough to elect our lawmakers for parliament and assemblies but unable to look after themselves. I mean, how and why should we think that they cant make a right choice? And it is also not a matter or right or wrong choice because marriage or friendship do happen and can be undone peacefully if they dont grow up. Hanging up with things for the sake of the social system give us extreme pains and create turbulence in our lives but then in our societies we all dont go for friendship and marriage for ourselves but for ‘society’.

I have seen how people ‘celebrate’ ‘intercaste’ and ‘interfaith’ marriages while I say nobody would opt on its own for an inter caste and interfaith marriage. The important thing should be respecting the individual choices and not making a propaganda out of two individual joining hand and making a union. When the personal issues are used to gain political brownie points or get likes on social media then we must be prepared to listen to the other side of the story. That is where caste forces jump into it. In most of the cases, parents and relatives dont agree particularly that of the girl as they feel ‘betrayed’ but in this case, the father of the girl was promoting the wedding on social media, may be to prove a point that parents must respect the wishes of their children. Unfortunately, Yashpal Benami became victim of the culture propagated by his own party. The moralists jumped and started targeting him.

Let us hope that the two individuals remain safe and happy. When our institutions fails and political parties dont speak on issues these things happen. We all love our jaatis and jaati patriarchy which will never allow the individuals to life on their own terms and conditions.

The last point, I wish to make for the interfaith couples or inter-caste couples is that because they marry out of their own so important for them to opt for secular wedding, taking oath on Constitution and respecting the individual identity. Don’t impose your religious values on your children. Make them secular because ultimately it is our secular constitution that allow us space for such marriages.

Thank to Baba Saheb Ambedkar and Jawaharlal Nehru that you have a legal framework to support otherwise a theocratic state would not allow you for such marriages. Interfaith marriages will not survive on merely celebrations of each other’s festivals but delinking your children completely for religious propaganda and turning them respecting humanist values. Let the humanist tribe grow which is only possible through respecting individual choices and giving them dignity and respect.

The Constitution must prevail on all to protect our rights as religious thugs try to intrude in our individual lives and dictate terms and conditions to us. Should we allow this to happen in the name of ‘culture’. The only guardian for our protection is Constitution and Constitutional Rights and any other person imposing his own will or threatening or intimidating other is purely violating law of the land and action must be taken against them. Let the media not legitmise street thugs in the name of ‘culture and morality’ as the only morality in India should be constitutional morality.

Author is Human rights defender

Courtesy: https://www.counterview.in

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In a shocking instance of provocation to violence, Suresh Sharma, reportedly a leader of the Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP), can be seen making threats instigating “burning and killing Muslims”. Uniformed policemen can be seen in the video. This incident has been reported from the Aaron district of Madhya Pradesh. 

There is no information readily available on the “clash” that had taken place as context for this video, nor have any photos of the alleged injured individuals been presented. In the video (links below), a group of people can be seen standing around Suresh Sharma while he is speaking to the police.

In this video, which is available easily on social media, Suresh Sharma can be heard saying “Miya ki itni aukaan kese ho gayi saalo ki who hinduyon ki maar peet kar rahe hai” [how dare these Miyas (a derogatory term used for Muslims) beat up Hindus} “inko hosh mei hai ya nahi hai yeh” (are they not in their senses?). Suresh Sharma then goes on to openly threaten that he will take action against the Muslims and burn everything down, and says“Ek din nahi lagega, do ghanta sirf aur purreAaron mei aag laga dunga” (it will not take me even one day, I’ll burn the whole Aaron within two hours)

In a blatant instance of impunity, Suresh Sharma then says that “FIR meri ho jae mai jail chala jauga” (Let there be an FIR against me, I will go to jail). He then says, “Purre Miyas meiaag laga dunga” (I will set ablaze all the Miyas). He then goes on to say that “Jo log support kar rahe hai unke bhi yahi haal kar denge” (I will also screw those who support them).

The video can be viewed here: 

Location: Aaron, Madhya Pradesh

Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP) leader Suresh Sharma threatens to set ablaze all the Muslims living in Aaron town.

Sharma made these threats infront of the police officers. pic.twitter.com/7V8E3iUurz

— HindutvaWatch (@HindutvaWatchIn) December 24, 2022

In another video from the same incident, it can be seen that while Suresh Sharma is threating to burn and murder people from the Muslim Community, as well as their supporters, the police can be seen pacifying him. In the video, Suresh Shamaalso warns of holding a chakka jam, after telling the police that he has connections in the government, and closing down the whole Guna District. The police can be seen siding with the people from the VHP and not taking any action against the blatant hate speech and death threats being uttered in front of them.

The video can be viewed here:

गुना जिले के आरोन में जेहादियों द्वारा हिंदू परिवार पर किया गया हमला हुआ विवाद ।आरोन थाने का घेराव किया पुलिस ने 307. की कारबाही की हिंदू परिवार को मिला न्याय सच्चाई की हुई जीत pic.twitter.com/blDe7HBbdT

— VHP Suresh Sharma राष्ट्रहित सर्बोपरि (@SureshVhp) December 19, 2022

The people of the VHP have repeatedly used the word ‘Miya’ to address the Muslim community of the district, even though it is a derogatory term. In this video, it can be seen that the VHP is willing and threatening to take the law into their hands if the police does not take action against the Muslim people allegedly involved in the clash. 

Such videos, when posted of social media, have the potential of spreading hatred and distrust against vulnerable and marginalised sections of our population, Muslims, besides being a grave threat to the peace, unity and integrity of India. Especially so, in view of the sensitive and hyper-charged atmosphere today wherein aggression is being unleashed, unchecked, with impunity, on sections of our population.

The wider social climate of threat, fear, violence and intimidation created by such speeches and mobilisationsthreatens everyday normal life, especially threatens women in general and men and women from the religious minorities in particular. It is the very nature of the beast, large hystericmobilisations such as these fired by speeches of this kind that then seek to justify violent attacks on the very sections and communities who are the target of stigma and demonization.

It is pertinent to note that in the above mentioned video, the leader of the VHP has not only targeted a minority, but also threatened to target and kill the ones who support them. While the police can be seen agreeing to charge the people of the Muslim community on the basis of the allegations of the VHP leader, the intimidating words being uttered by Suresh himself that can cause problems for the safety and security of the minority community in our country are being ignored. 

Related:

Hate Speech: Kalicharan spews hate against Muslims in protest for “Love-Jihad” law, Maharashtra
Hate Offender:  BJP MLA Raja Singh threatens Uttar Pradesh’s Hindu voters
Hate Watch: How is BJP MP Brij Bhushan Singh getting away
Under fire from SC, UP gov’t withdraws damage notices against anti-CAA protesters
Why is the Right-Wing so obsessed with the Taj Mahal?
Ghaziabad: Police beat up Muslim women protesters, claim ‘scuffle’, but viral video shows otherwise

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Image Courtesy: Indiatimes

At a time when atrocities against same-sex couples have risen manifold, the pictures of Anjali Chakra and Sundas Malik, the Hindu-Muslim same-sex couple from India and Pakistan respectively, have ignited a ray of hope in our hearts. Not only that they’ve started a revolution – being two women lovers, Hindu-Muslim and from India-Pakistan.

The couple stay in New York and recently attended a Durga Puja ceremony with Anjali’s parents at their local community event. “We get to share so many of our traditions with each other”, Anjali had tweeted with a photoset of the pictures.

Love has no boundaries and yet, we hear of religion, caste and other social norms that get in the way of true love. Still, Anjali and Sundas have managed to shatter that notion. Celebrating one year of togetherness, the couple shared their pictures on a photo sharing app professing their desire “to grow together in each other’s love.”

The fairy tale like pictures have taken social media by storm and people have showered immense blessings that have been heartwarming for the couple who were overwhelmed with the positive responses to their pictures.

In an interview to Metro.co.uk, they said they felt good about young LGBTQIA girls, non-binary people and boys looking at their photos, feeling seen and not alone.

But it’s not been just a bed of roses for these two. Even though they’ve lived through their share of homophobic abuse and trolling, they maintain an optimistic attitude citing that people indulging in such behavior haven’t been exposed to LGBTQIA issues and don’t understand them well.

Acknowledging that many of their LGBTQIA siblings live through similar abuse without being heard, they thanked Twitter users who came out in their support and enabled them to talk about their relationship openly.

Recently, the world also celebrated the marriage of two male grooms, Amit Shah and Aditya Madiraju who had a traditional Hindu wedding.

Lawyers MenakaGuruswamy and ArundhatiKatju who fought tooth and nail against Section 377 of the IPC that criminalized gay sex between adults, also came out as a couple and have been showered with much love thereafter.

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, Uganda announced plans for a bill colloquially called “Kill the Gays” that would impose a death penalty on homosexuals, saying the legislation would curb a rise in unnatural sex in the east African nation. Under British colonial law, gay sex is punishable with up to life imprisonment and activists said the new bill risked unleashing attacks.

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It was an act of violence and terror, albeit of a critically different kind. When 23-year-old Ankit Saxena’s throat was slit after an altercation with the family members of his childhood sweetheart a few days ago, while the usual suspects of the BJP, Manoj Tiwari, and the Bajrang Dal swung into pre-scripted, hate-driven action, a worrying silence from votaries of “secularism” and “religious progressives” echoed in the public sphere.

It would be easy to assuage the guilt caused by this silence by brushing off Ankit’s murder as an act of individual brutality and insanity, atypical and distinguished from organised, targeted killings in the name of faith or caste. Young Ankit’s death can also then be distinguished aside and away from the “secularism and Constitution in danger” paradigm. Warning bells need not be rung. For the venomous proponents of the “love jihad” myth, this is an act in reverse, with the young man, a Hindu, a victim. For both sides of the deep communal divide, the response is common: Greater segregation, less democratisation for the young, no sharing of spaces. Do no candles need to be lit for Ankit and his lost love?

This story appeared as the lead editorial piece in The Indian Express on February 6, 2018. The rest of the story may be read here 

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Photo credit: Nitesh Kumar/Newsclick

Situated seven kilometres from the city centre of Ahmedabad, the prosperous economic and political capital of Gujarat, Juhapura locality is a symbol of alienation of the minority community. It is deprived of basic infrastructure and public services. Heaps of debris and garbage lying around are common sight here. Residents talk of lack of education, transportation, water supply and sewerage.

‘Development’, the mantra of BJP, seems to stop where Juhapura begins. Even the BRTS’s proposed last stop is a kilometre away, from where it takes a detour away. But for the good main road, part of the Ahmedabad-Vadodara expressway, Juhapura’s internal roads are in neglect. The locality became part of the Ahmedabad Municipal Corporation only in 2007, but that hasn’t helped.

It does not take much to figure out the reason for the pathetic situation of the area – it is because Juhapura is the densest concentration (over 4 lakh people) of Muslims in one place in Gujarat. Testimonies from local residents confirm this. Its estimated 1.07 lakh registered voters account for around 35% of the total electorates of the Vejalpur Assembly constituency of which Juhapura is part. Ahmedabad is a polarised city and its development can be fully understood only after visiting Juhapura.

Juhapura came into existence in 1973 when over 2,200 inhabitants of the Sabarmati’s banks were rehabilitated here after a severe flood. Earlier, it was basically a slum located at Ahmedabad’s western suburb that housed both Hindus and Muslims. But after the communal violence following the Babri Masjid demolition in 1992, Hindus left the neighbourhood, turning it into an all-Muslim area. Then, one year after the 2002 riots, nearly 180 families from Naroda Patiya, Asarwa and other riot-hit localities were shifted here.

Over the years, more and more Muslims have come to settle in Juhapura, often due to the feeling of insecurity in Hindu-dominated areas. Justice Akbar Divecha of the Gujarat High Court, who had moved out from Juhapura, became the target of mob violence in 2002.

The locality has now changed its face from just another slum to urban Muslim ghetto and second biggest Muslim locality in India after old city of Hyderabad. Christophe Jaffrelot in his recent book ‘Muslims in Indian City’ described Juhapura as a “city within a city”.

Asked why Juhapura has not benefited from PM Modi’s much-touted development, BJP Minority Morcha National Vice President Irfan Ahmed blames it on the residents. “The people here do not want change. When offered biryani, if some people still want only daal, what can one do?” he asks.

Al Ashad Park residential complex in Juhapura borders Vejalpur – a posh Hindu locality in the same constituency. On November 9, Union minister Smriti Irani toured only Hindu areas in Vejalpur, which is highly polarised.

The trend allegedly set by its past leader Amit Shah still haunts it. Shah had cleverly used Hindu-Muslim divide to win Sarkej constituency. He even called Juhapura “mini-Pakistan,” a name that local Hindus often use to describe this Muslim ghetto.

The Bollywood film ‘D-Day,’ which was produced in 2013 based on Dawood Ibrahim, and its scenes of Karachi was shot in Juhapura and neighboring Sarkhez Roza,a prominent dargah.

“No leader from any political party ever pays a visit to the area. We have been neglected for decades,” said 36-year-old Shakeel Ahmad, a resident of the area.

Residents of Siddiqabad, where riot affected people have been rehabilitated by religious bodies such as Jamaat-e-Islami-e-Hind (JIH), say they are in pathetic condition. Govt. officials are not at all bothered. “Elections come and go. But no change has come in our lives. We have to run from pillar to post for our livelihoods, forget about education of our children,” said a female resident of the colony.

Her sentiments were echoed by others. “Our husbands work as daily wage labourers and we work as domestic helps. Then only we manage to run our families. Elections do not mean anything to us,” they said.

Dr Damini Shah, assistant professor at social work department at Gujarat Vidyapith, says it is easy to neglect Muslims as they have been  pushed to live in ghettos in several pockets of the state.

“There is a sharp segregation between Hindus and Muslims here. Their connect with mainstream society is negligible. What they get in Muslim majority areas is security and nothing else. There is no scope of their development as the government has measurably failed to improve the life of the riot victims in the state,” said Dr Shah, who has written a book on Muslim ghettoisation in the state.

She also holds the civil society responsible for the ghettoisation. “Post migration in 2002, at least 66 Muslim-only colonies came into existence. But all these colonies were built by religious organisations. As a result, you will see higher number of mosques but not educational institutions. It is a blot on the civil society. Had it come forward, it would have attempted to bring the victims into the mainstream by making arrangements of education and livelihood,” she said.

Asked about the history of ghettoisation in the state, she said it is nothing new here. But there are two types of ghettoisation – one is involuntary because of fear and insecurity and other is voluntary based on the economic conditions of the residents and their caste and class.

“Like Patidars, Jains and Brahmins prefer to live in posh localities of Naranpura, CG Road and Old Pole areas of Ahmedabad only because they cannot afford to live with people who are below their status. These are voluntary ghettoisation. But the migration took place post 2002 was involuntary and because of fear and insecurity,” she explained.

She alleged that following the delimitation of 2008, Muslim majority constituencies were divided into different parts and each small part was added to Hindu dominated constituencies in an effort to make the Muslim community “politically insignificant”.

The result can be seen in Vejalpur constituency. Muslims voters are 1.07 lakh out of the total 3.2 lakh voters and all these minority votes are concentrated in Juhapura. BJP’s Kishorbhai Chauhan defeated Congress candidate Akbarkhan Pathan in 2012 elections.

Earlier, Juhapura was part of Sarkhej constituency, which was represented by BJP President Amit Shah. Before the delimitation, Sarkhej’s 8-9 lakh voters included 1.50 lakh Muslims, including those of Juhapura. After delimitation split the constituency into many, it was the BJP that gained as it won most of the new seats.

It has been 15 years since the deadly riots but still the Hindu-Muslim divide is being exploited to win the elections. But many in Gujarat have claimed that polarization is fading. In 1984 there was a time in Gujarat when 15 Muslim MLAs were elected from the votes of Hindu community, in the coming elections Vejalpur constituency can very well be a secular test for Gujarat politics.

Courtesy: Newsclick.

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Maulana Kalbe Sadiq. Photo credit: Times of India

Two days ago Shia leaders and activists from Mumbai condemned the Shia Central Waqf Board for submitting an affidavit in the Supreme Court stating that rebuilding the Babri Mosque some distance away from the disputed site was acceptable to it. Now senior Shia cleric, Maulana Kalbe Sadiq on Sunday has said Indian Muslims will have much to gain if following a Supreme Court verdict in their favour, they voluntarily handed over the Babri Masjid site to Hindus.

Slamming Wasim Rizvi, chairperson of the Shia Central Waqf Board presented little difficulty to many Shias as Rizvi is widely perceived to be an “opportunist” who is close to the BJP. With Maulana Sadiq, however, it is a different matter. A sober, highly respected person, he is also the vice-president of the All India Muslim Personal Law Board, a body which all along has stuck to the once-a-mosque-always-a-mosque standpoint.

Maulana Sadiq’s comments were made in the course of his speech at the inter-faith World Peace and Harmony conclave in Mumbai on Sunday. Anticipating a hostile Muslim response to his suggestion, he reasoned that if the Supreme Court judgment was not in favour of Muslims they should gracefully accept the decision of the highest court in the land. If however, the verdict was in their favour Muslims should voluntarily surrender their claim and hand over the disputed land to Hindus.

By giving away one thing that is precious, one often stands to gain in thousands, he reasoned. “I would rather urge the community to give away the disputed land to Hindus whose feelings are so deeply attached to the place.”

But the maulana’s suggestion found no favour from the convener of the Babri Masjid Action Committee, Zafaryab Jilani who told The Times of India: “The AIMPLB, which is an umbrella organization of various Muslim bodies in the country, maintains its stand that land of a mosque cannot be given, gifted, donated or sold or exchanged. The same holds true for Babri Masjid as well. We all in the AIMPLB, including board’s vice-president Maulana Sadiq, are bound by that decision. I wonder how and why he said this. It appears to be his personal opinion.”

AIMIM chief Asaduddin Owaisi said Allah is the rightful owner of a mosque and therefore no individual or organization has the right to give it away. “Masjids can be managed by Shia, Sunni, Barelvi, Sufi, Deobandi, Salafi, Bohri but they are not the owners. Allah is the owner,” tweeted the Hyderabad MP in an obvious reaction to Shia Waqf Board’s latest stand.
        
Meanwhile, the BJP was quick to welcome the statement of Maulana Sadiq. “Maulana Sahab (Sadiq) has won our hearts. Lord Ram is neither of Hindus nor of Muslims. He is soul of India,” said Union Minister Harsh Vardhan, who spoke after the cleric at the event.

In a 30-page affidavit filed in the Supreme Court on August 8, the Shia Waqf Board had asserted that the Babri Masjid site was its property and only it was entitled to hold negotiations for an amicable settlement of the dispute. The affidavit further stated that a mosque can be constructed at a place near birth place of Lord Ram.
 
For Maulana Sadiq apparently the issue is not who – Sunni or Shia – has the rightful claim to the Babri Masjid property but the fact that the place is dear to the hearts of Hindus and therefore it should be given away as a goodwill gesture.  
 

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Toronto, June 18, 2015: the Muslim holy month of Ramzan has commenced. During this hot summer period, when the days are long, my wife Mahrukh will fast for nearly seventeen hours every day.

Annually, over the last two decades since we’ve been married, Ramzan is the time when I’m at once confounded by the rigidity of rituals and the beauty of belief. Having alternated between atheism and agnosticism for all of my adult life, I’ve always had a problem reconciling to practices borne out of faith. And through these years, Mahrukh has patiently but resolutely prevented me from interfering with what she believes her religion requires her to do.

The ritual of day-long fasting, I argue with her, was conceived and meant for places where day and night are almost equally divided, not for the summers of the northern hemisphere. Therefore, fasting for nearly two-thirds of a day for thirty days couldn’t possibly be what Allah ordained, it is quite unnecessary. Such arguments don’t move her; and if I persist, she glares at me with a finality that implies that if I know what’s good for me, I’d better shut up.

Even now, I cannot resist having that discussion with her at least once every year, before the Ramzan fasting begins. Over the years, however, I’ve noticed that my resistance has gradually transformed into tolerance and, as we age together, into acceptance.

She is pragmatic and doesn’t let her belief totally govern her life. So she prefers halal both at home and when eating out, but will also dine where halal is not served. She’d want to pray five times a day, but will be satisfied if she’s able todo it at least once, preferably at dawn. She has never worn a burqa, or a hijab, and finds the practice irrelevant to a woman’s existence. But she covers her head when she prays.

I have come to admire the rootedness and certitude that her belief gives her, and I often wonder whether these are the benefits of belief—solace, peace, and the ability to live in the moment, accept life for what it is.

I have come to admire the rootedness and certitude that her belief gives her, and I often wonder whether these are the benefit of belief—solace, peace, and the ability to live in the moment, accept life for what it is. I had seen this in my late grandmother Harvilas, a devout Hindu. Religion gave her a sense of self-assurance that was at once enviable and intimidating.
For the last two decades of her long life she lived in a predominantly Muslim milieu, with a masjid opposite our home, and the azaan flowing through the speakers five times a day. Adjusting rather remarkably to her new environment, Harvilas created an exclusive world of her own, looking for and perhaps finding inner peace in her puja.

For Mahrukh, religion is deeply personal, as it was for Harvilas, and the only external and physical manifestation of their belief is the ritual of prayer—the namaaz for Mahrukh and the puja for Harvilas. My lifelong disappointment has been that Harvilas died about a year before Mahrukh and I got married. They would have found many similarities between them, many experiences to share.

Rarely, if ever, does Mahrukh proclaim her belief to the world, but just as equally she never disguises or hides it. In many ways, and perhaps without realizing it, she has matured into a person who is a strange combination of her parents—mother Shakera and father Aga Vaqar. Growing up in cosmopolitan Bombay, she had friends who spoke different languages and had different beliefs. Her decision to get married to a non-Muslim didn’t overtly dismay her family perhaps because of her father’s distinctly Marxist views.

For Aga Vaqar, being a Muslim in India was not so much about faith as it was about identity. Despite our similar views on many aspects (or perhaps because of them) my relationship with him remained uneasy till he died. On the other hand, Mahrukh’s mother Shakera, who is a deeply religious person, has little in common with me; and yet on several occasions, she steadied our rocking marriage in the initial years, because of her affection for and trust in me. I don’t talk to her often, but merely knowing that she is there in this world makes me feel secure and gives me strength.

Living together has transformed both of us gradually, and as with all couples who live together, the process of adjustment has been fraught with friction. In the early years, I often thought that religion was instrumental in whatever problems we faced in our marriage, but over the years I’ve realized that what to outsiders may seem like an unending television soap opera of quarrels with all-too-brief interludes of togetherness is perhaps true of most marriages. Mahrukh and I don’t make any attempts to hide our differences. And yet we are together and will be together because we love each other, and because we want to be together.

Immigrating to Canada has made me more appreciative of my wife. We talk of assimilation for newcomers to Canada, and what has struck me about cultural assimilation is that while most of us would willingly change our lives to become part of the mainstream, the biggest challenge (at least for me) is adapting to a different cuisine. I have singularly failed in adapting to “Canadian” food, and prefer my vegetarian Gujarati diet. My rigid inability to adjust has made me appreciate Mahrukh’s sacrifice two decades ago when she came to live with me after our marriage. It must have been an immense challenge for her to leave behind her dietary habits, her lifestyle—which at many levels was so completely different from mine—and quickly and willingly adjust to a new life.

Mahrukh prepares Gujarati cuisine with consummate ease; every day, she packs my lunchbox with simple, basic Gujarati food. I can’t think of anyone who can quite make the karela nu shaak like she does. Her adadnidaal tastes exactly like my grandmother made, and she even attempts the saatpaadi (a Surati version of the bhakhri); her daal is almost as good as my mother’s. I have to constantly remind myself that she is not a Gujarati. Her transformation has been imperceptible, unannounced, and without any accompanying drama that is generally associated with such life-changing journeys.

Mahrukh’s vivacious personality helped her in gaining acceptance in my family, including extended members of the family, with most of whom I have maintained little or no connection. She is connected to them all or at least most of them on social media, and is my source of information for all that happens in my family. Also, given my generally depressing state of dispensation, she has also become the sole contact point for my immediate family (mother, sister) who are never quite sure how I would respond to their queries.

She has transformed me too, but gradually, and not in the manner that she’d have wanted. One of the biggest changes has been to acknowledge the relevance of religion.

She has transformed me too, but gradually, and not in the manner that she’d have wanted. One of the biggest changes has been to acknowledge the relevance of religion. My father was a lifelong socialist, influenced in equal measure by Jawaharlal Nehru (India’s first prime minister, a Fabian socialist) and Ram Manohar Lohia (a socialist leader), and had little patience with God or godliness. He absolutely refused to perform the janoi (the sacred thread) ceremony for me, much to my disappointment because all my cousins had great fun tonsuring their heads and putting on the sacred thread amidst the chanting of holy mantras. “The only use of a janoi is to circle it around your ear when you piss,” he said dismissively. My mother has turned religious as she has aged, but her religion encompasses all belief systems, she finds peace in the Siddhivinayak Mandir as much as in the Haji Ali dargah.

Once I outgrew my grandmother’s influence, I turned an agnostic and have remained so since. I called myself an atheist earlier but have stopped doing so; I don’t think I am (or was) an atheist, because I respect those who believe, even if I don’t share their beliefs, and I think that transformation has occurred because of Mahrukh’s influence on me. She has made me aware of religion’s many dimensions. I had grown up seeing my grandmother perform puja, and go to the mandir every day. I associated religion with older people. My wife’s religiosity began a process of questioning in me.

Why was a person who was not dissimilar to me in most ways be so completely different in one crucial aspect, and be so committed to a belief system? It led me to explore religion—not just Islam, but also Hinduism, Christianity, and other religions of India. It made me understand India and Indians better.

It made me more tolerant, better equipped to accept differences, develop an ability to find commonalities even with people who are completely different from me, and who preferred to revel in that difference.

And it has helped me better adjust to Canada’s multicultural society. When our son was born, we agreed to name him Che, after the Argentinian revolutionary. It was a momentous event in our lives, and even though I have never been a diarist, I recorded it. This is what I wrote then:

When he will ask me why I named him Che:

Monday, September 8, 1997, 21.48 hrs: A baby boy is born to Mahrukh. And my world has changed. This is my single biggest achievement. The 7 lbs baby will be called Che, after Ernesto Che Guevara, the Argentine revolutionary, who fought alongside Fidel Castro in Cuba (and who was killed in Bolivia). His remains were found earlier this year. Che Guevara is the only revolutionary of this century who, after having succeeded in ushering in a new order in a country, did not sit down permanently to rule the country. He went on fighting in other countries for the cause which he felt was right. Che essentially means “my”. But it is not just that. “For the residents of the pampas, Che can express, depending on intonation and context, the entire spectrum of human passions—surprise, exhilaration, sorrow, tenderness, approval or protest” (quoted from Ernesto Che Guevara, a biography by I Lavretsky)… I know Meghnad (my father, who died about four months before my son was born) would have liked the name, Durga (my mother) will, too, and Mahrukh has begun to like the name (though I suspect this has more to do with her fear that her son may otherwise be named with a Sanskrit word). More importantly, if I succeed in making him a decent human being, I am sure, even my son will like his name.

Che was conceived just before the month of Ramzan in 1997 (I think it was during a trip to Aurangabad in December 1996) and was born during the Ganapati festival of 1997. The nurses at the Holy Family Hospital, Bandra, told us that September 8 was also the feast of the Virgin Mary. Che’s date of birth also coincided with the holy month of the Jains—Paryushan.

Fairly early on, I decided that I would not decide what religion my son would follow. It wasn’t a tough decision for me. It may have been a bit challenging for Mahrukh, but even she has never made any overt attempts to force her views on him.

Fairly early on, I decided that I would not decide what religion my son would follow. It wasn’t a tough decision for me. It may have been a bit challenging for Mahrukh, but even she has never made any overt attempts to force her views on him. One of the reasons for our decision to immigrate to Canada was to make it possible for Che to grow up in a society where his identity would not be restricted merely to his religion. I believe that Canadian society is generally open and fair, and doesn’t judge a person by his or her faith, although many recent events have severely challenged this belief.

Over the last eighteen years, I have consciously avoided influencing my son’s mind, and not merely about religion, but even about other matters. I believe that a child is influenced by what he sees his elders do rather than what his elders tell him to do. I realize that because of his mother’s faith, my son is more exposed to it. It was my experience, too, growing up in a household where though my parents weren’t religious my grandmother’s religiosity influenced me especially during my adolescence. But I quickly abandoned the narrow confines of religion once I was exposed to different experiences.

What helped was the multi-faith milieu of Teli Gali, a narrow lane in Andheri, where I grew up. My friends and neighbours belonged to different religions, different castes; we happily celebrated all festivals, and participated in rituals of all faiths. Opposite my home to the south was a masjid, and to the north a Swaminarayan mandir; a church, another Ganapati mandir, four movie studios, and eight cinemas were within walking distance. Tell Gali made me who I am today.

In the same way, I’m sure Canadian multiculturalism will help Che develop his own ideas about himself, his identity, and his place in the world.

As a family, we don’t often discuss these matters. But much to my consternation, I have realised that it is a major concern for the people we know, and often even for people we don’t know. Everyone wants to know if religion is a source of friction between Mahrukh and me, and I joke that we have many other important reasons to quarrel. People want to know if it would become a cause for friction if Che were to decide one way or the other, and I’m at pains to explain that it wouldn’t really matter, and that why should he have just two options—he could choose from many that are available, or like most rational human beings these days, choose none.

I remember one particular incident that rankles even after many years. In my struggle to find a proper job after I came to this country in 2008 (at the ripe age of 46), and upon realizing that finding one was next to impossible, I enrolled in a short program in flash animation at the Yorkdale Adult Education Centre in Toronto. I also wrote a column for Canadian Immigrant, and wrote about this experience. I want to share this here because it is the sort of response that I regularly encounter, and which I find extremely annoying.

In the column titled Questions of Identity, I wrote,

Once, while I was waiting in the corridor for the class to commence, two of my classmates also arrived. They were immigrants, too, but they were in Canada for more than two decades. After a brief discussion about our course, the subject veered to our children.

“I have one son: I said, “He’s 12 and he would be able to do this course better than me.”

Both the women nodded their heads in agreement. To become a student when you’re middle-aged poses peculiar challenges. One of the two women was a Tamil from Sri Lanka and had come to Toronto soon after she completed her education in Madurai (India) in 1988. The other woman was from Somalia and had come to Toronto in 1986.

The Tamil woman has two sons—the elder is 17 and the younger 13; the Somali woman’s elder daughter is 18 and she has two other children aged 6 and 4.

I have often wondered why is it that we have a tendency to know the other person’s faith and religion. I can live with ethnicity. But questions about my religion are something that I find deeply disturbing; not because I feel defensive answering them, but because I know my answers disturb the people who ask them. The Tamil woman wanted to know my country of origin.

“India,” I replied. She asked, “Are you a Hindu?”

“By birth,” I said. “I’m also a Hindu,” she said.

I nodded.

“You pray to Krishna?” she asked again.

“I don’t pray at all,” I said, and quickly added, “But I respect those who do.”

“Your wife also doesn’t pray?” she asked.

“My wife is a Muslim,” I answered.

The woman from Sri Lanka looked at me with a sense of disquiet. But the Somali woman perked up.

“Your wife is a Muslim?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“She prays five times a day?”

“Not five times, but at least once early morning,” I said.

“I can’t get up early every morning,” the Somali woman sighed, and then added with unconcealed pride, “But my elder daughter does.”

In five minutes of conversation we had discovered not what united us—our visible minority status and our lower-income status—but what differentiated us. We weren’t three immigrants in Toronto. We were now a Muslim, a Hindu and an agnostic.
In five minutes of conversation we had discovered not what united us—our visible minority status and our lower-income status—but what differentiated us. We weren’t three immigrants in Toronto. We were now a Muslim, a Hindu and an agnostic.

“Didn’t your parents object (to your marriage)?” the Tamil woman asked.

“No” I said.

“Even your wife’s parents?” the Somali woman asked.

“Not really,” I said.

“What religion will your son practice?” the Somali woman asked.

“I don’t know,” I said, “I’d rather that he decides what he wants to be when he is mature enough to take such decisions on his own.”

“Have you given him a Hindu name or a Muslim name?” the Tamil woman asked.

“Neither. I’ve named him Che. It means ‘my.’ ”

I don’t want to create the impression that my wife and I don’t have differences. We differ on many issues, and constantly. The Charlie Hebdo massacre was a recent instance when we had different views; the annual memorial in New York for the victims of 9/11 is another. I’ve learned—sometimes with great difficulty—to accept as valid those of her opinions that are diametrically different from mine; and she has acquired the confidence to express her views without the fear of being labelled. We understand that we can express our views to each other and be understood even when the other person does not share our opinion.
 

 
Originally published in ‘The Relevance of Islamic Identity in Canada: Culture, Politics and Self’. Edited by Nurjehan Aziz, Published by Mawenzi House Publishers Ltd. Toronto Canada (2015). Republished with the publisher’s permission.

Mayank Bhatt is a Toronto-based author. His debut novel, Belief was published in 2016.
 

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Meanwhile, another report in today’s print edition of the Times of India says tension arose in Bulandshahar city when a group of men beating dhols in celebration of the BJP’s stunning performance in the UP Assembly elections tried to hoist a party flag on the roof of a mosque on Wednesday night.

In the first instance, the Muslims-get-out posters in Hindi have reportedly been put up at over two dozen places warning Muslims of “dire consequences” if they did not leave the village before the year-end. Around 200 of the village’s 2,500 residents are Muslims.

Taking their inspiration from the US travel bans attempted by President Donald Trump, the posters put up by BJP-bhakts read: :What Trump is doing in America, we will do in this village because BJP is now in power.

The posters put up over the last weekend are signed, “Hindus of the village”. The posters also identify a local BJP MP as their “guardian”.
In the Bulandshahar incident, police and Provincial Armed Constabulary (PAC) jawans have been deployed in the area and senior officials are closely monitoring the situation, it is reported.

The incident took place at Chahcrai village in Bulandshahar. Mohsin Ahmed, a villager who was witness to the incident told the Times of India: “It was around 9.30 p.m. when a procession of men with tilaks passed through the areas. A few of them first stood in front of the mosque gate and then began installing the flag on the roof of the mosque. We objected and this led to the altercation”.

Though timely intervention by cops tempered the situation, there is palpable fear in the village. “When police arrived, the men left the place but not before warning that they word come back with swords the next time. Ther is peace right now due to presence of the PAC contingent and the police force, but there is a sense of uncertainty prevailing within the Muslim community here,” Furkan Ali, another village resident told the Times of India.

The district unit chief has denied its involvement in the episode.
 

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Representational image
 

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