Tha Maharashtra circus and our reform agenda

On our 70th Constitution Day, the first change we should effect is that we should seriously consider, officially, running the government only at night


Politicians, especially, elected representations are unique species. They descend from God’s chosen ones, hence power is their entitlement and they are a superior and selfless breed. Superior because they make a new begining every day. Mortal humans carry yesterday’s baggage, responsibility and shame. Politicians, on the other hand can say and do the vilest things to each other one day and kiss and make up another day without batting an eyelid. They’re selfless because everything they do is all in the public interest. They sacrifice their sound sleep, life, character and integrity for us.

We, the people, idiots that we are -ask them questions, force them to slime their way out of facts, push them to lie- are supremely thankless creatures. The root of the problem is that we harbour the illusion of this being a democracy. And democracy is messy. Having to follow the rules, ask for opinions, take consent, defer to public sentiment are unnecessary burdens on ‘governance’. The divine creatures that politicians are they try to disabuse the janata of democratic illusions but we refuse to lower our expectations.

Wide ranging reform is the only way out. Do we actually need a Government? In any case God seems to run the system. Once the temple is up in Ayodhya the system will run even better. The days God is on leave Nature determines what happens in our polity, On the rare occasions that both are asleep the system runs on auto-pilot, inertia or whatever. So, ordinary citizens can do without Government.

The first change that should seriously be considered is to officially run the Govt only at night. Daytime there are so many laws, rules, questions, oversight, debate, ruckus,etc. Opaqueness takes so much effort that governance becomes impossible. Take a leaf out of the swearing-in book and run Government only at night. Come to think of it we can eventually do away with Parliament, Assemblies, elections. Would save so much money, propaganda, lies, manifestoes and everything.

The second reform ought to be to privatise police and paramilitary forces along with BSNL, BPCL, Indian Railways, airports. Privatise policing and security of MPs and MLAs and turn it over to the Dawood Ibrahims, Iqbal Mirchis, Arun Gawlis and Chhota Rajans. State Police do such a shoddy job of policing. The other day senior policemen were caught spying on NCP MLAs at that Mumbai hotel. Such a shame that Chanakya’s policemen were caught.

Until privatisation of police takes place (you know tendering etc. take time) it is apt and fitting that the gau rakshak parivar treats MPs and MLAs as cattle and gives them protection. Cows are indeed the most protected species (the four-legged ones and the two-legged MLAs) in the current dispensation.

The Government’s reform agenda and its trajectory inspire great hope. It is on the right track and doing all that is necessary for real change. e.g., earlier corrupt corporates had to stash their funds in $ in Swiss Banks and Cayman Island entities. It gave them such a bad name despite their sweat and toil for the country. How much more thankless can we as a people be? Now they can simply park their funds with the ruling party. Such a swadeshi solution from the swayamsevak sangh and swadeshi jagran parivar.

It was Nehru’s ill-conceived plebeianism that forced the Adanis and Ambanis to use the same currency printed by RBI as every other citizen, the janata! We simply don’t appreciate that they are a class apart. It is so grossly unjust to them. The only option they had was to have tons of the same money we have. This Govt has very rightly corrected that injustice. The janata can have RBI-printed notes, the chosen ones can have SBI-printed electoral bonds. A totally new and parallel currency befitting their stature, reputation and class-apartness. Nobody will ever ask or know where it came from nor where it went. In any case they put it to excellent use by gifting airplanes on each other’s birthdays or building themselves 25-storey buildings for their 5-6 member families.

While this reform spree is on what’s most puzzling is that there are no ED, IT, or CBI raids on the hotels and resorts hosting the ultimate “democracy fugitives”, i.e., the Shiv Sena, NCP and Congress MLAs. Do they suddenly want to play by the rules, have they developed a sudden interest in fairplay? Or, are the hotel and resort ownerrs bigger crooks and hooligans?

Whatever anybody says the BJP must be considered the most honest and transparent party. It seems to list the Election Commission as one of its Departments. See the circled icon in the picture below.

BJP Website


BJP must also be considered a modest party because it does not show the Enforcement Directorate (E D), CBI or Income Tax as its departments. Besides, the party website only lists its top office bearers such as President, General Secretaries, sangathak etc. Therefore it doesn’t list all its office staff such as Governors, clerks, peons et al.
But, the Government must exist and Maharashtra must get one soon. It must exist for the big corporates and criminals -political as well as others- because Governments are their only benefactors, protectors, legitimisers. If the Government didn’t exist who would give them land, mines, spectrum, loans, write-offs?




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